#he'll eat the potato raw

[askblueandviolet]

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[amazinglyegg]

What the companions would make you if they had access to a kitchen:

Cait

I'm thinking a nice stir-fry or rice with a shit ton of vegetables and PROTEIN

Of course she loves her protein

Hmm or maybe a lasagna. Nice and dense.

Whatever she makes, there'll be enough of it to go around

She gives off food insecurity to me so I feel like she prefers to take her food and eat alone most days

But you WILL have a shitton of leftovers!

Codsworth

A nice breakfast spread like what you'd see in movies.

French toast, eggs (sunny side up or your preference if he knows it), bacon, several options of cereal in those little fancy cereal dispensers, pancakes or waffles depending on your preference, fresh fruit laid out...

And of course a glass of orange juice

He wants nothing more than for you (and anyone else you're sharing the meal with) to sit down and enjoy while he cleans the dishes and helps out

Just like old times <3

Curie

Baking time!!!!

Cookies are her go-to

Does that thing where you use your thumbprint to make a heart shape and fills it with jam

They come out perfect every time. She leaves them out on a plate and they're gone within a minute

Just be warned she might eat the cookie dough. Would definitely make edible cookie dough just to eat it raw at like 1am

Danse

He's a protein shake and plain hard boiled eggs type of guy

He wouldn't make you a meal, but would mealprep your entire week for you

(It's just plastic tupperware of boiled eggs and like, one whole carrot)

If he HAD to make an actual warm meal it'd probably look exactly like Brotherhood rations

Mashed potatos, plain crackers, and some vague meat in sauce

Deacon

This man lives like he will be killed via sniper if he ever expresses a genuine feeling

So as much as I'd like to say he'd make a meal that's really important to him, he'd probably just grab the nearest cookbook and pick a random recipe

Not even he knows what it's gonna be like until it's made

He also doesn't want to be associated with a certain meal so he'll only make it once or twice. If you want it again then YOU have to cook it!

If he's completely alone and just making something for himself, then maybe a nice sandwich or sub

I don't know why but he just gives off sandwich vibes

Dogmeat

Can't cook

He would, however, oversee the situation and taste test when needed

Gage

Grill dad

He'd make like, ribs and baked potatoes. Nice and filling and also pretty damn messy

Not too big on vegetable but he'd also grill like, corn on the cob or maybe some skewers

Chicken wings perhaps???

Maccready

Weird food combinations is this man's bread and butter (or bread and ketchup)

He WILL hand you a turkey sandwich with ketchup and potato chips in it. And it will taste good.

Or like, steak sushi. Spaghetti on pizza. Mayo dumplings?

He can make basically anything, but he just has some really weird preferences

If you can get over the strangeness it's actually pretty decent

Nick

Toast and black coffee <3

That's it

I mean like he'll make you tea or something if you don't like coffee

Pre-war Nick always had toast and coffee for breakfast in the morning so it's nostalgic to him

Old Longfellow

"Oh he'd make a fish based meal" NO. He lives next to the water he's probably SO DAMN TIRED OF FISH

Chicken noodle soup maybe, but like high quality chicken noodle soup with some nice spices

Or maybe a pot roast??

Piper

Weirdly enough, as much as she loves sweets I feel like she'd be a much better cook than a baker

She'd make a nice well rounded meal with protein, carbs, 1-2 vegetables. Gotta make sure Nat's eating well

Not huge on spices though. Like your mashed potatoes will be buttery and smooth as fuck but you're limited to like basic box gravy and maybe salt and pepper.

I feel like she can and will make an entire turky dinner. Just out of nowhere. There's like 7 different sides and an apple pie Curie made.

Preston

Oh this man will make a MEAN stew

It's his go-to. He can share it if needed, have leftovers to feed himself for multie days, and it's versatile

I'm thinking either radstag or brahmin meat, or maybe a bone stock, but in the past he's made stews out of basically anything, from bugs to deathclaw meat

He also has a soft spot for campfires and would love to roast marshmallows or cook hotdogs or something around a fire

X6-88

Grabs an apple for himself and leaves.

The Institute eats SUPPLEMENT PACKETS there is NO WAY this man knows how to cook

He's probably a picky eater too, and he only likes those packets

He's gonna be living off a diet of applesauce and ensure for a long while

Honestly he might enjoy taking his food (any food) and putting it in a blender. It fixes the sensory aspect of it.

[thegoldencontracts]

ONE OF MY TWST OCS IS A TOTAL TSUNDERE WHAT THE HELL

Make twst tsundere content, I DARE you(I'd say I'd match you with content of my own, however it is drama and science finals week and I'd rather not burn myself out on more than one front bc my english final is next week. So I will not guarantee that lmao BUT STILL THAT SOUNDS AWESOME MAKE THAT CONTENT I WILL EAT IT UP)

- thoughtlessdesires

THANK YOU SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDSSSSS

Hello, you there, yes, YOU ���� can help make tsundere twst by uhh... idek man it's tsundere twst,,, it's cuteee i swearrr imagine THIS:

I-It's Not Like I Like You!

Summary: The Housewardens deal with their affection in the oddest of ways.

Notes: This is a taste of what we can make possible GUYS tsundere!twst is cute and it's not ridiculously ooc or smth like that i SWEAR- Also the last sentence in Azul's part is literally ripped straight from the third part of his dorm vignette (the tsundere potential of this man is so understated guys PLEASE let me yap here I have a point-)

Night Raven College; a place of raw meritocracy. Sentiment is rarely found, and affection is often mocked. Logic and strength are meant to take priority, and discord between students is common.

So what happens where these students find someone who treats them with kindness, understanding.

...Completely flounder, of course.

The housewardens, during one of their meetings, even discussed the dearest Ramshackle Prefect, so odd, so understanding. Kalim had brought the topic up, of course.

"...Why's this important?" Leona had said, a bored look on his face.

"I-Indeed," Riddle said. "The Prefect isn't particularly relevant to our current topic of discussion, regardless of accomplishments."

Azul sighed in his typical, overdramatic manner of his.

"How cold!" he said. "Kalim was merely doing his duty to discuss the needs of all students, regardless of how-"

His nose wrinkled.

"Talentless."

"Well, the Prefect's not that bad." A lukewarm praise. Even Kalim wasn't speaking highly of the Prefect? Just what was going on here?

"A total normie," Idia had said.

"It's true, the potato could use some work," Vil said,

Wow. These housewardens sure did hate you, didn't they?

Wrong! At that moment, all of the, were lying! They liked you. And no one in that room had any clue how to deal with it.

Riddle hasn't ever really got to experience relationships due to the stifling pressure of his mother. Thus, he has absolutely no clue how to handle the sudden affection for you he feels. He'd often stop by Ramshackle to help you with your homework. Just because you happened to need it way more than the others, of course. N-No ulterior motives here. What do you mean 'his face is red'? You're just imagining things!

Leona's always been treated like a cold, uncaring individual, and that's what he's used to. That leaves him completely flabbergasted when you suddenly start making him lovesick. He happens to "accidentally" drop money and the like while you were near. Not that he wants to help you, of course! He just doesn't really care about the money that much. Why're you looking at him like that? He's not that kind of sap!

Azul's childhood's left him used to rejection. After so long of being mocked for any desire of love and companionship, he's shunned it. Love's just business to him, an easily exploitable emotion. So he'll never be able to admit it now that he's the exploitable one. He gives you stuff... for free? Since when did he do that? Ask him about it and he insists he's just doing it for business' sake. What kind of business? Is he sure he doesn't just like you? W-What sort of foolish questions are those? Do you honestly think him capable of such an illogical sentiment as "attachment"?

Kalim, of course, isn't immune. Even he doesn't understand this. Someone actively returning his kindness? He's absolutely in love, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Although he won't be quite as abrasive as the others, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings. He might actually be less nice to you than to others. Not in a rude way, of course, he's just a bit quiet because he's always so flustered around you! Can you blame him?

Vil, too, despite his normal mentality of being candid and mature, struggles to handle his affection. He'll buy you skincare and the like. B-But, he'd do this for anyone, of course. There's nothing particularly special about the way he feels for you! Once again, though he isn't particularly defensive, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings, and it causes him boatloads of internal conflict. Why's he being so immature all of a sudden?

Idia doesn't get you. Why'd some normie suddenly have to start talking to him? J-Jeez, it's not like he enjoys your company or anything! Idia can vaguely recognize the word 'tsundere' in his head as he mulls over his interactions with you, but he denies it. Denying his feelings? U-Uh, what feelings?

"Looks like you have some competition, huh?"

"What competition, Lilia?" Malleus's face twisted in displeasure. "The Child Of Man- they're merely a friend."

Malleus doesn't know how to feel. He's never really had these sorts of close relationships before, so when his heart pounds around you and sparks seem to fly, he has no clue what to do. He's so deep in denial, partially due to his obliviousness when it comes to matters of sentiment and partially due to how he's used to being intimidating, and blushing like a schoolgirl around one's crush is the opposite of intimidating.

[vasyandii]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your IHNMAIMS oc. I'm a OC x canon enthusiast and seeing a character so well written and adapted to the story as Vernon is makes me so excited!! Plus your art is literally amazing. I've been curious since you mentioned how Vernon cuts potions of her meal to give them to AM and how the food improved since AM got his body, what food/meals do Vernon and AM like/dislike/have as favourite? -for AM, at least from what he has tasted- Whether if it's because of the taste, flavour, etc.

Howdy Anon! Thank you so much for the kind words, I've been giddy since I got it a few days ago! I'm glad my OC x Canon content gets your stamp of Approval >:D!! 💞💞

VernonAM 🏺🖥️ Food Preferences

I think Vernon is careful in choosing the food she shares with AM because he will eat literally ANYTHING. She would try to eat things to torture herself with, extremely spicy foods, live insects, raw organs, etc. but then remember that she has to "Feed AM". So she opts out for something normal so his taste buds don't get fucked.

Or as normal as it can get, the food kind of has the uncanny valley effect as well. It looks normal and tastes normal, but she feels there's something a bit off about it (kind of like airplane food). So she often leaves criticism to the Chef™ (AM) or asks to cook instead.

Vernon isn't particularly picky when it comes to food, she'll eat it and clean her plate. She likes her food balanced, vegetables/meat with sauce and all that. If it tastes good, she'll eat it, y'know?

AM is more... difficult. Sure, he'll eat anything, but if it tastes really bad, it'll traumatize him and he'll refuse to eat it for a while.

His food has to not be touching, if it's mixed in all together beforehand he'll eat it. If there's sauce it shouldn't be close enough to where it can contaminate the food AM's eating because he WILL taste it, no matter how small the amount is. His utensils need to be a specific size, and the food HAS to be hot/warm. He needs to be able to see or know every ingredient in it.

It's observed that AM likes fried foods/anything crunchy because of how consistent they are in taste, texture, and flavour. So what ends up happening is Vernon will just include those foods into her meal, just to not eat it and have it on a little plate for him.

Vernon asks him why he can't just make food for himself, his response is "I don't need to eat, I eat when when you eat."

But honestly it's a pretty dumb question now that she's looking back on it. AM has all the knowledge in the world about food, everything ever made, everything he's never tasted. So he's basically asking Her, indirectly, "I don't know where to start or what's good. But you do. I trust you. Feed me."

Now here's some of the meals They've had together (+ AM's comments):

Chicken soup ("Too wet", just ate the broth)

Caesar Salad ("Damp, Crunchy water")

Vanilla ice cream (experienced a brain freeze for the first time, thought his body was malfunctioning)

Spaghetti Bolognese ("No I will not be mixing it, you mix it for me")

Western beef stew (He picked out the potatoes and only ate those. Thought the meat was irritating to eat.)

Baby carrots. ("You know they bleach these, right?")

Asparagus (he likes them. Needs to be warm)

Broccoli (same thing)

Cheese Pizza (Ate it, ate too much. Tummy hurted.)

Tempura (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Fish and chips (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Coffee, black (spat it out)

Macaroni and cheese (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Grilled chicken hearts skewers (He liked it, but kept poking the roof of his mouth with the skewer.)

Half a Hamburger (picked out the vegetables because he didn't like them, still tasted it and gave the rest to Vernon)

Half a cheeseburger (ate it with no fuss.)

Aaand that'll be all for now :) if you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you need any clarifications, feel free to tell me!

[miasmaghoul]

whos the best ghoul cook? do you think they have any weird eating quirks (like water ghouls eating raw fish, mountain chewin on his terra cotta plant pots, fire ghouls needing to eat more bc of higher body temp, anything like that)?

Did I ever tell you guys that I earned a scholarship to culinary school? I couldn't go, but cooking and baking remain passions of mine that I do NOT get to talk about enough.

But now you've given me an excuse >:)

So here, a BUNCH of my cooking (and favorite food) headcanons for the ghouls and Papas alike!

(There's some murder ghoul content here, mostly in Alpha's section - couldn't help myself 😌)

Aeon isn't one for cooking. Loves eating food, certainly, but not making it. He's more of a snacker, partly because it's more convenient but mostly because he doesn't have the attention span to do much more than microwave instant noodles. He's not picky though, will eat whatever is put in front of him as long as someone else has prepared it. Also doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, more of a salty/savory guy. Favorite foods include hot cheetos, thick cut beef jerky (good to gnaw), and whatever appears on his plate at meal times.

Aether is a ghoul of simple tastes. He'll cook when he has the time, but it's going to be one of his four go-to recipes every time. Always some format of protein + starch + veg, with a complementary sauce. He meal preps every weekend after his retirement so he can have easy meals to microwave and eat in the infirmary. Isn't the biggest fan of cooking with company, unless they're willing to stay out of the kitchen and not interrupt his routine. Has a weak spot for bananas. Favorite meal is one-pan roasted chicken, potatoes and asparagus with rosemary and garlic from Mountain’s garden.

Alpha does not cook, wouldn't dream of it. He doesn't even deign to eat human food most of the time, turns his nose up at it when offered. He likes his meat raw, and wants to hunt it himself so he can feel the blood run down his chin. Any prey is fair game - if he finds you in the woods, you'd better hope you can outrun him. (You cannot.) Favorite foods include the flesh and organs of anything with a pulse.

Aurora likes the idea of cooking, but in practice...well, she tries. She's impatient, is the problem - what do you mean simmer for 20 minutes? She's hungry now! She inevitably rushes everything she makes, no matter how much input she gets from the others, and has yet to learn her lesson. She also has a MASSIVE sweet tooth, they can't keep enough sugary snacks in the pantry as far as she's concerned. Favorite foods include spaghetti with butter and cheese (one of the only things she can always get right), boxed brownies and any kind of fruity candy she can get her paws on.

Cirrus can cook pretty well, if she says so herself, but it's rare that she does it for anyone but herself. She has very particular tastes, and doesn't want to have to adapt them for others. She loves organ meat and bitter vegetables, enjoys the intensity of those flavors while the smell alone keeps most of the others away. Oh well, more for her! She'll eat anything thats made for her though, especially if its served on a silver platter by someone on their knees. Favorite foods (aside from the aforementioned organs) mostly include healthy things like fresh fruit and veggies, steamed shellfish and lean meat.

Cumulus is more of a baker than a cook, but enjoys any time spent in the kitchen either way. She's the type to make a day of it, in her comfiest clothes with music playing while she dances in front of the stove. Her food is never the prettiest, but it's made with love and tastes so much better for it. Her favorite things to bake are cookies and pies, but she doesn't eat many sweets herself. Prefers seeing the others enjoy them. Favorite foods include homemade bread (she has a sourdough starter named Breadly) with lots of butter and flaky salt, anything citrus-forward and wants her proteins heavily spiced (not spicy, she has a low tolerance, but loves the fragrant flavors of herbs and spices).

Dewdrop doesn't advertise it, but he's one of the best ghouls to have in the kitchen. His precision and attention to detail are second to none, and while it doesn't make him particularly fun to share a kitchen with it does make him an outstanding cook. He likes very intricate, involved recipes because he can use them to showcase his skills (and earn a whole bunch of praise at the dining table as a bonus). Loves spicy food, which everyone assumes is due to him now being a fire ghoul, but he's actually always enjoyed a good burn. Favorite foods include any meat served on the bone, fermented foods (kimchi and sour pickles especially) and anything smoked.

Ifrit does not know how the stove works. He survives on protein bars and any leftovers he can pilfer from the abbey kitchens. Food is not a thing he's super interested in, just takes what he needs to fuel himself, and would rather follow in Alpha's footsteps anyway. He likes to hang out at the lake every now and then with Mist, though - she'll pop up from the water every now and then with a nice plump trout to toss his way, which he will roast with his bare hands. Doesn't really have a favorite food, but does like crunchy things.

Mist, if she isn't sharing her spoils with Ifrit, will keep her catch for herself. She's small enough that one good-sized lake fish will tide her over for the day. She does prefer them raw and whole, always a bit on the feral side, but she can be convinced to join the others for sushi if the offer arises. Favorite foods include anything alive and not poisonous in the lake, and cookie dough ice cream (don't tell anyone).

Mountain is overall considered to be the best cook amongst the ghouls, and definitely has the goofy apron to prove it. Naturally skilled and adaptable, he enjoys preparing meals for his pack and will do so with anyone that wishes to lend a hand. Usually it's Cumulus or Sunshine, but they all keep him company at one point or another. He grows much of the produce used in their kitchen himself, all of it fresh and delicious, but Mountain does not eat a bite of it. He's a total carnivore - the closest he gets to eating his homegrown goodies is including them in a stew but avoiding them in his own bowl. Favorite foods include rabbit, venison and this one Vietnamese style grilled beef and rice noodle dish that Dew makes.

Omega learned to cook by osmosis, if you ask him. Time spent under three Papas will do thay to a ghoul. He doesn't cook much, but he's excellent at crafting simple, filling pasta dishes that are good for the soul (so to speak). Also treats it as an excuse to drink plenty of the good wine stashed away in the abbey's cellars - blame Terzo for that habit. Favorite meal is fresh pappardelle served with roasted tomatoes, basil and spicy sausage.

Rain doesn't cook if it involves more than the microwave, not because he can't but because he prefers to be waited on. Breakfast in bed, charcuterie plates in the afternoon, specially prepared dinners to make sure he's kept happy - none of it is necessary, but Rain can't help how much he loves being served. Good thing no one minds giving him the royal treatment. He will also indulge in the odd raw fish during a swim, but only does it beneath the surface, away from prying eyes. Favorite good is soup, any kind, but he prefers brothy ones over thick or creamy styles. If he had to pick a single favorite varitey, it would be miso.

Swiss is only allowed in the kitchen because he's good with a knife. He can burn through prep work like nobody's business, but that's where his skill set ends. He's caused one too many greasefires to he trusted at the stove, and every time he's put something in the oven he's forgotten about it until smoke filled the room and the ghoulettes had to magickally air it out. But he can chop like a food processor, so he gets the knife pass. He's another one that'll eat anything put in front of him, with one exception: eggs. Can't stand them. Favorite foods include red meat served rare, really dark, bitter chocolate and anything with hideous amounts of garlic.

Sunshine is chaos personified in the kitchen. She loves to experiment with flavors and techniques, but has yet to have anything close to a success. Pasta with pesto and pineapple (alliteration is fun), chocolate covered avocado balls (with bacon, because why not), a tuna sandwich made with coconut yogurt instead of mayo (it's healthy!) - these are but a few of the food crimes that have lost her solo access to the kitchens. This girl could burn cereal, and no one wants to see that. She does love to eat though, and will frequently hang out when someone else is cooking so she can sneak bites whatever they're making. Favorite foods include cheese (all kinds), sour candy and all the orchard fresh peaches she can get her hands on.

And for the Papas:

Primo had to learn his way around the kitchen from an early age, thanks to the responsibility of raising his younger brothers falling onto his shoulders. He learned by watching the kitchen staff - a pair of elderly Sisters with so much skill in their gnarled hands that Primo couldn't look away. He never got very good at it, mostly sticking to a handful of reliable dishes that could be made cheap and easily for the three of them. His favorite of the bunch was also the one thing he was best at making - a simple mushroom risotto.

Secondo took to the kitchen like it was second nature, once Primo could trust him to not chop a finger off. Would spend hours poring over cookbooks and learning by doing, eating his own failures so his brothers wouldn't have to. He really enjoyed making simple but hearty comfort foods, lots of rib-sticking braises and stews filled with herbs and veggies from Primo's modest garden. He even cooked the last meal they ever shared together, on that fateful Uno night. It was his favorite, a lasagna constructed from fresh sheets of pasta, homemade ricotta, spinach and a simple tomato sauce, served with roasted garlic focaccia.

Terzo did not get the cooking gene, aside from being able to boil water for his tea. It wasn't a big deal since his brothers picked up the slack, and he decided there were other things that took priority - like music, history and how to retain a full head of hair after age 30. He preferred drinking over eating anyway, mostly saw food as something to put in his stomach to cushion the wine. He was a man of simple tastes, and his favorite thing was a humble sandwich of mortadella, provolone and spicy pickled peppers.

Copia never had to learn to cook, raised by the Clergy and doted on thanks to a not-so-subtle suggestion from Sister Imperator. More than a little spoiled in that sense, he would also go on to be the most worldly Papa in terms of his tastes. So much time spent traveling the world helped to expand his palate, and he got into the habit of sending pictures and descriptions of his favorites back to the abbey so the kitchen staff could figure out how to replicate them. It's impossible for him to pick a favorite, but thanks to so much time spent in LA he does have a real soft spot for Mexican food. Tacos al pastor in particular, but without the cilantro (he has the soap gene).

[salternateunreality2]

The Boys with a Stomach Bug (AGSZC)

We saw them with their SO/roommate/friend, now we see how they would act if they were the sick ones!

Angeal:

Mournfully turns into a sad depression rock and hides. He would keep working, but he's responsible enough to know that he's contagious. He tries to take home a huge stack of work, but he can't finish it because he's too miserable.

Passively tries to hint that he wants someone to take care of him, but won't say it outright.

"No, no, it's alright, I wouldn't want you to get sick too..." *Sad cough, despite not being sick with a cough*

He will accept glasses of water delivered to his door, but only if you press him, and he will refuse to let you in.

He will struggle through alone with vaporub on his elbows, powdered Gatorade in a gallon-sized jug, a raw piece of ginger root on his nightstand, and potato peels in his socks.

Genesis:

Canonically, he will make it everyone else's problem too.

Hugging the toilet, asking the goddess why she hath forsaken him. Hugging a bucket, sitting on the SOLDIER common room sofa, asking why no one cares if he dies. Hugging a pillow, asking why Angeal is in the kitchen instead of here with him.

He will try to stay at work, only to dramatically run out of his office to the closest executive bathroom and loudly get sick every hour until he's forcibly sent home.

He will complain about every little annoyance and text regular updates and beg Momgeal to bring him something else.

He will get half the SOLDIERs sick and cause massive staffing shortages.

Sephiroth:

Never gets sick and everyone hates him for that.

HOWEVER, if he gets experimented on or recklessly eats gas station sushi, he turns into the saddest, loneliest, wettest kitten and quietly shuts himself away, wishing for his mother.

If he's expected at work, he attends and just looks miserable the whole time until Lazard sends him home.

He's quieter than Angeal, and doesn't solicit or refuse help, because he doesn't think he deserves it, and is too confused to refuse when it shows up.

He also doesn't help himself. He stays hydrated and minimizes mess, meaning he spends a lot of time lying on the bathroom floor and drinking from the tap until he's operational again.

Where is momther?

Zack:

Gets suddenly and violently ill in the middle of practice.

He doesn't ask for people to show up and take care of him, but they can't help themselves and show up anyway.

As soon as they're in his apartment, he's excited to have friends, but it's pathetic to see, because instead of squatting, he tries a wobbly, tearful grin.

He's not demanding, but he asks for a lot and prefers not to be alone. He likes to sit on the couch, and will ask for popsicles please and soup and water and juice if you don't mind, and then he'll throw up because he tried it too soon.

He recovers quickly and thoroughly, and is jokingly hated for it because what was a 24 hour bug for him has the rest of SOLDIER (who he infected) needing a week off at a time.

He's forgiven, because he's really sweet and helpful to everyone else.

Cloud:

Can't afford time off, so throws up into random bushes and keeps stumbling forward.

He's given 12 hours of leave after he passes out from dehydration and sickness mid-patrol, which means he returns still sick and passes out again.

This time they drop him off in the infirmary to suffer alone until he's cleared for duty.

He's miserable and just sleeps as much as he can and survives out of spite.

He mostly wants to be left alone to perish in peace and is agonizing over how this is going to disqualify him from SOLDIER somehow, until Zack calls.

He doesn't tell Zack what happened until Zack weasels it out of him. Then Zack shows up with Kunsel and a massive cauldron of Angeal's soup.

Cloud pretends to hate it, but secretly soaks up the attention like a sponge until he gets embarrassed and pretends to fall asleep while Zack sings to him.

[silver-itallics]

Last Light

Warnings: canon typical violence, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, you guys will be mad at me

a/n: I was thinking about when Leigh mentioned in the saw commentary that someone wrote a monologue from Lawrence's point of view after leaving the bathroom and I wanted to write one for Adam

"I'm a liar?"

"I wouldn't lie to you."

Liar, lies. Seems like either way, Adam is getting screwed over.

He sits in the dark, dingy bathroom, his eyes still struggling to adjust. His throat is raw and aching from all the screaming and crying. Not even the hardest sex could have done that to him.

God, he's really gonna die having fucked one person.

All of his relationships were mediocre, even the platonic ones. Scott treated him like shit, the guy probably hasn't even noticed that he's gone.

Has anyone?

Lawrence is someone that would be noticed, he's got a wife and kids for fucks sake.

"I've got a family too, Lawrence! I don't talk to them anymore, that's my mistake. A mistake I'd like to fix."

One of the last things he remembers at the apartment is scribbling "Call mom?" On a crumpled post it and sticking it to the wall. The paper has probably fallen down by now. Forgotten.

Are his parents even looking for him?

Probably not. They probably haven't noticed either.

Everything that Adam does ends up screwing him in the end, just like this. But he can't really blame anyone but himself, can he? Not even $200 was worth being stuck in this bathroom. Doesn't even soften the fact that he'll probably be here forever.

The money was meant to go for his food. Not a camera, not developing fluid, not even that shiny new pokemon game Adam wanted. Food.

A necessity he barely even had.

"Why? Call it my need to eat."

He remembers snapping at Lawrence like it was the most obvious answer. But food is a luxury even Adam can't afford. The guy lives off of ramen noodles and sodas from the gas station. Sometimes he even wonders why he never gained any weight since he ate such shit.

His mom was never the greatest cook, but he'd take soggy meatloaf and unseasoned mashed potatoes any day.

At the thought, Adam's stomach rumbles. His guts ache from hunger, but he's not a stranger to it. That's usually how his day goes.

He can't even blame Jigsaw for trapping him here. But in all honesty, Adam has done so much self sabotaging, that he's probably done worse to himself than the man that left him here.

He's felt worse betrayal than when the dead man stood up, peeled the fake skin off his skull and left him here.

"Game over!"

Dead man. Adam squints in the darkness, trying to make out Zep's corpse. He's not even sure why. The first time he saw a dead body, or what he thought was one, he puked his guts out into the tub. Couldn't even keep down his latest meal.

He'll probably starve even quicker now.

The room smells like blood, and his fingers are sticky from the same substance. Not only is he a voyeur, he's a killer. Maybe his last girlfriend was right: he's too angry.

Adam isn't very good at anatomy, at least the human side of it. But he knows he broke through layers of skin and bone when he'd crushed through the hospital orderly's skull.

"It's the rules!"

Knowing now, he feels guilty. Awful, even. Guy probably had a family too, even if he was a bit of a creep. Where do you draw the line of deserving a family? What's so bad that you no longer are worthy of someone related by blood? Adam's probably the worst person to ask that.

He'd stormed out on his parents after a petty argument, an excuse to leave. One that he'd been wanting to have since he was seventeen. Somehow, he'd convinced himself that they wouldn't accept him, even if they let him drop out of high school and didn't even call the cops when he left. But was that tolerance or pure disinterest?

Maybe he's not a total waste of time, since his mom had called not long before he got his power knocked out the same way he was.

"Adam, your father's not angry anymore."

Lawrence had a home, a family. A good one, too. The pictures he saw of Diana and Alison made him crack a smile. At least before the one with them tied up. He shivers, probably both from disgust and blood loss.

His shoulder aches, oozing blood all over his shitty thrift store clothes. Adam understands why Doctor Gordon left. He has some place to go, people to welcome him home with open arms. Most places Adam went, he wasn't even noticed.

He kicks with his right foot in anger, the chain rattling as he does. The metal bites into his skin and the amount of pain he's in is just frustrating at this point. Adam screams, but his voice is raw and broken.

As much as he hopes the doctor will come back for him, at least he has half the brain to know that Lawrence probably won't make it. The man that he's had the first physical touch from in months is probably bleeding out in the sewers, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He doesn't even have a choice to cut off his foot like the doctor did. Sure, the blood loss will probably kill him, but Adam is sick of waiting around for something to happen. A job to drop, a phone call.

But he can't even do that.

The hacksaw he found in the toilet had snapped in half. A result of his ever consuming anger. Seems like everything he does leads back to that.

"I see a strange mix of someone who's angry, yet apathetic. But mostly just pathetic."

If Adam isn't angry at the world, he's angry with himself. He feels like a waste of space on the good days and a tumor on the face of the earth on the bad ones. At least with photography he felt like he had a purpose, even if it was supplying creeps and weirdos with material. He wasn't really helping anyone, was he? Even Tapp ended up dead.

But Lawrence helps people. Even if he thought the guy was initially a jerk, Adam admires him. Misses the man's blood stained hands as he cupped his cheeks.

"I wanted to be a vet."

That way, he'd benefit the world somehow. Even if he was pulling tennis balls out of dogs' throats or cleaning up puke every day. He'd much rather smell vomit, as he's getting quite sick of the coppery scent of blood.

"That's nonsense. I've seen kids with brain cancer graduate high school from a hospital bed."

"They got further than I ever did."

Adam has been pretty able bodied his whole life. While he'd consider it a nuisance that his body doesn't match up with his own view of himself, that's not a disability.

Maybe his parents wouldn't even mind, maybe they'd help him with the cost of surgery and injections. But he hadn't even told them. His parents barely know who he is. Adam barely knows himself.

"What do voyeurs see when they look in the mirror?"

Nothing. The answer is nothing.

He's like a leech, sucking the energy and luck out of everyone around him.

Now he's left to sit in his own grave- metaphorically and literally. He probably won't even have the luxury of being buried or cremated.

Hopefully someone will come around and put him out of his misery. Like a calf with two heads or a dog with rabies.

But until then, he's left to wait.

[ana-chronista]

What are your headcanons on what the guys prefer as late night snacks?

After much consideration...

Bojan and Jure would be similar in that they'd both raid the fridge for the most random assortment of stuff available. But whereas Jure would somehow manage to whip up a full on gourmet meal out of odds and ends, Bojan would come up with half a can of cold baked beans and a lone fish finger. Jan would have leftover take away, possibly more than one combined, possibly stuff that's been left there for a dubiously long time. But these random love children of kormas and pad thais are probably much more preferable to his crimes against the culinary arts. Nace would be well prepared with a stash of gluten free snacks because he's got to be more conscious of what he eats and is (maybe?) a bit more sensible about this than the others. Having said that, the fact that he and Jan appear to operate as a hive mind probably means Jan tops up this stash quite a lot even while being more careless about what he himself eats. Kris would be so well organised that he probably doesn't have loads of leftover stuff in the kitchen for late night snacking. He's good at things like shopping lists and batch cooking. So instead he'd order takeaway and probably has a few on speed dial, while knowing he'll need to over order by a certain amount when confronted by Bojan's sad puppy eyes because all he managed to forage for himself was a raw potato and some rice.

[pool-floatie]

Tall Tales Part 3.

Aaa! Im so glad people are liking this, I enjoy writing it even more! Dont yall worry, Jace isnt that bad I proooomise, he just has to be a little bit of an evil boi so I can get my fearplay fix. 🤷😅👍

The little human, still unsure what to make of the Giants sudden gesture of affection, was flushed pink in the cheeks. They raised their shoulders in an attempt to hide the blush, but the only person who could have seen it was a bit spaced right now.

"o-oh sorry did that hurt ?"

Av shook their head, -it only hurt a little.... Thats improvement . . but why would he care anyway !? He almost killed me!-

Jace tried to think of remedies for bruises, or if the purple color was a good thing, or how long they might take to heal,, anything! but his useless brain held nothing of value to this situation.

"wellllllll, , , we could eat ? Im starving right now."

Av still wasnt sure if this huge fucker was going to eat them or not.....

" ..Mhmm " they mumbled.

Jace smiled, food was a thing he could accomplish.

"Wonderful! now, I usually go out and hunt but that requires both hands and some mobility, so I can't carry you with me,, ooh, let me check something."

Jace placed av back on the jacket. He turned and lifted a whole ass boulder, revealing a 'small' stash of herbs and plants, Jace hummed in thought,

" well I have this -" he showed an entire handful of potatos, still attatched to the plant. "I just use most of these as spices, but these things are good fillers"

Av was glad he had some form of nutrients, truthfully they were quite hungry.

" su- sure..."

Jace smiled, placing a few potatos onto his jacket in front of Av, and began popping a few into his mouth.

Av averted their gase from Jaces mouth, not wanting to envision that future death too vividly.

They approached the raw, fresh-out-the-ground roots, and picked one up examining it.

-Maybe this is all he'll give me, just enough to survive , and it'd look stupid complaining, but, , , he doesnt seem too still be mad ?-

...."um, humans c-can't, um, have these raw ... " Av stammered nervously.

Jace sighed

"well...damn, it's supposed to rain tonight... But I think I can get a fire started for a little while.

Av watched the titan move across his land, covering the huge distance easily. He gathered wood (just huge dead trees), set up a wood pyramid, and sparked a flame using rocks.

As the fire caught and the flames grew, Jace worried that the tiny may be getting hot in his jacket, he scooped up the fabric in two hands and moved it to a cooler spot, farther from the fire

"sorry if it got a lil hot for a second, you ok in there ?"

Av, still shaken and sprawled on their ass from being moved so abruptly, just stared ahead and gave a nod.

Im gonna grab water and cook these up, ok ?"

Without waiting for a response, Jace left the camp . Left Avril there. Alone. On the ground.

They looked both ways, as if expecting a trap to spring, took a cautious step back, , , and

Bolted

[sirfrogsworth]

My dad and I had a very long day but we are starting to figure some things out.

His main issue is circulation to his right foot. That is causing most of his pain and discomfort. His right big toe is a goner. But if they can restore circulation to his foot with a stent, then that is all he will lose. But there is a major worry that he could lose half his foot or all of his foot or even part of his leg if the catheter procedure with the stent is unable to improve circulation.

The more foot they take, the harder it will be to walk. And if he can't walk at all, I might not be able to take care of him. And that would suck for a myriad of reasons. My possible homelessness being a real concern.

The podiatrist was real doom and gloom about all the possible amputations and scared my dad with worst case scenarios. I didn't appreciate that. I mean, I know he had to present all the possible outcomes, but can we at least do the procedure tomorrow before we talk about losing a leg? I don't know.

That said, we are told this doctor that puts in the stents is one of the best in the world. He has won awards for this and everything. So if anyone can save my dad's foot, it is him.

I still think my dad has an infection. He was pretty lucid today, but for the last 30 minutes he has been seriously hallucinating. I can still communicate with him, but he is very loopy. He hasn't slept all day and they gave him a Percocet and that made him quite, umm... high as balls. So if there is an infection combined with no sleep and an opioid med, I would guess that is a recipe for delirium. They are going to give him an Ambien tonight so I am hoping he'll get some long deep sleep and hopefully that will fix the delirious state he is in. It has worked in the past.

I had a great conversation with his kidney doctor today. She is wonderful and I wish we saw her more often. She is one of the smartest doctors I think I've ever encountered but also incredibly kind, funny, and empathetic. She reminded me of a cordial Black auntie but like with a Mensa membership. She went from complimenting my dad's silver hair and making fun of her husband for using Just For Men hair dye to hacking the hospital computer to find my dad's sleep study results that we have been unable to obtain since July... and then perfectly interpreting them without being a sleep specialist.

She is not just proficient in kidney issues, but she seems to have well above average knowledge of many medical issues outside her purview. She gave us some great advice on a variety of problems my dad is facing. She also gave a great explanation on why my dad has issues with his breathing and requires constant oxygen. Can you believe after all this time no one has been able to give me a good answer on why he needs oxygen? I've had several doctors just say they didn't know. But I ask her and she tells me his lungs have trouble inflating all the way. I forgot the medical term, but he can not inhale deeply. So it's like working with half lung capacity at all times. She recommended a breathing exercise toy thingie. It's like a game where you inhale and try to lift a little ball. You do your exercises every day and hopefully increase the power of your suck over time.

After (hopefully) fixing the foot, my secondary concern is my dad's mental decline. He was lucid in the morning and most of the afternoon. But after a Percocet he was grabbing for imaginary pills in the air and trying to eat them. It is very hard to take care of him when he has these episodes. Especially since he gets them at night. I am not able to sleep when this happens. He becomes a danger to himself and sometimes tries to get up and walk places when he doesn't have the balance. One time he tried cooking raw potatoes on the stove top and nearly burned himself. He just put whole ass potatoes in a hot pan and thought he was cooking them for my mom. That was a very difficult night. But until last week he hadn't had an episode in nearly a year.

So I am hoping once the infection is completely gone and he is back in his own bed and able to get quality rest, these events will be rare again. But I am worried they may be a more common occurrence and I will have to adapt my caretaking to accommodate them. Perhaps I could sleep in the morning and afternoon instead of late evening. I dunno.

Anyway, his catheter procedure is in the morning and then I think he has dialysis. Since he won't be in his room most of the day, tomorrow might be a rest day for me. I'll stay home and try to catch up on all the sleep I've lost.

We are working it out. I think my dad has a decent prognosis at this point. But there are still many things that could go wrong. I am choosing to be optimistic at this point.

One final thought... my dad's medical care would be substantially worse if I was not there to advocate for him. It makes me feel sad for all of the elderly people out there who don't have someone to speak on their behalf trying to get them the best medical care possible. Like, if I didn't tell them he needs Ambien to sleep in the hospital, he could be so far into delirium right now that they would be unable to communicate with him at all.

[10bugs-in-a-trenchcoat]

Fallout 4 Companions and what I think their fave hangover foods are

Ada and Codsworth: Oil.

Nick: Cigarette

Curie: Buttered Crossiants. How does she have any? Well, she's got plenty of pre-war knowledge, surely SOMEONE in Sanctuary can bake?

Preston: Is that someone. He tries to get away with just coffee on the morning of his hangover, but Sole will insist he eat something, then promptly regrets that when Preston goes through half the bread in Sanctuary having toast.

Cait: She's reaching for that Sailsbury Steak and Potato Crisps. As much as she's a 'tough Irish gal', she knows how bad it is to do NOTHING about a hangover, so she'll munch on that over the morning.

Danse: BOS rations 😭 try as you may post blind Betrayal, he'll just insist "I'm a synth, I don't need food. This is all artifical". You might succeed at making him eat some crackers though. Maybe even a stew if you promise that "Oh I accidentally made too much and it was gonna go to waste anyway so actually you're helping"

Deacon: I'm a firm believer of synth Deacon despite him not dropping a component upon death. And apparently its a lore fact that synths enjoy Fancy Lad Snack Cakes??? So he'd for sure have some of those and a Nuka Cherry.

Hancock: Jet. Ok but seriously, I feel like he'd get Whitechaple Charlie to make him a full English breakfast. Might also have some whiskey because you can't can't hungover if you're always a little drunk :)

Maccready: Probably having the full breakfast as well, courtesy of Hancock. If not for that then he'd probably just have some Yum Yum Devilled Eggs, he seems like that kinda guy to me.

Piper: A bowl of Sugar Bombs and a Nuka Cola. You cannot persuade her into having anything healthy, she just won't. Unless Nat is there, bc she's gotta be a good role model. Then she'll have some soup with tatoes, razorgrain and some mongrel meat.

Strong: The raw meat from the last raider he killed.

Old Longfellow: Fog Crawler meat with Potato Crisps that have been mashed with Brahmin Milk, along with a side of Whiskey. How do you think he lived this long in the wasteland? He's eating good!!

Gage: Nuka Cola. Okay yeah he's having some Nuka but he's also gonna have some grilled Rad-Rat kebabs, maybe even with a dip now that Sole has taught him to eat anything BUT pre-war food straight from the packaging.

[rayadraws]

Dietary preferences/habits among some of my DND/BG3 characters:

Morwen (dragonborn monk):

Was raised on lean elven foods, probably a lot of grains, meat would have been mostly dried/smoked/otherwise preserved. She would sometimes try to sneak into the food storages to get extra snacks. Even today when she fully decides herself what and when to eat she has a tendency to gorge herself or acquire too much when food is available. Prefers fresh meat over anything else, won't eat poultry or eggs; used to be judgmental towards others for doing so but has learned to accept it.

Cirrus (tiefling sorcerer):

Grew up in the Docks, a poorer side of the city of Baldur's Gate. Parents made sure there was always food on the table, but it was often simple due to a limited budget, typically potatoes, grains, cheap fish. As a teenager he more or less lived off fish and chips from street vendors.

During his time as an adventurer he's often had to sustain himself on whatever scraps the party could find, though things improved over time, in particular once they were back in the city.

During his year in Avernus it was (for him) foreign foods most of the time, he longed for the familiar foods he grew up with but they were rare and expensive in the Hells.

Since coming back to the city for good and settling down with his husband in the Upper City Cirrus has had access to all kinds of fancy cuisine but he still prefers the type of food he grew up with, often visiting the Lower City to buy fish and chips and similar meals.

(He still goes on the occasional quest, but on his and Wyll's terms, now).

(Also the kind of guy who forgets to eat at all, stumbling out of his personal library after realizing he's been in there for hours reading nonstop and now he's starving)

Sorrel (gold dragon):

The first decades of his life he was raised entirely on a pure draconic diet ie. meat and organs, normally raw, to ensure he would grow properly. Once he could take human form he was also introduced to all manners of human cuisine, which is what he mostly lives off nowadays, as it is more efficient than hunting in dragon form as well as offering a much larger variety of flavours and textures.

Sorrel is used to living off travel rations so he likes to indulge himself once he's in a city, often going straight to the first nice tavern he can find to buy a big hearty meal and nice wine to go with it.

He's familiar with a wide variety of foods and drinks thanks to all his wandering/travelling. Sometimes he'll go through the effort of travelling large distances to buy his favourite coffee or kind of seasoning that's used in a particular area, usually such long trips are made in dragon form, making them much faster while also requiring him to be discreet to avoid unwanted attention).

[hotmenheadcanons]

Kizuna and their relationship with food

I made this whole blog for this one post so take it minor tw for implied ed

Yusei

While not actively starving himself anymore, he still forgets to eat regularly.

He has the advantage of getting distracted by his tinkering easily, so he always took that to forget his hunger and leave more food for the others.

He probably would've been taller if he didn't do that

He also has a very small appetite. More accurately described as "this is the maximum amount that would logically be attributed to me considering my situation and getting more will make me ✨uncomfortable✨ about starving the others".

He's working on increasing that maximum.

Jack

The oddball. Except not really.

He always has been a big eater, whether he liked it or not. If he didn't eat enough he'd feel weird and depressed.

He felt plenty depressed in Satellite

Food was the first luxury he indulged in when he went to the City. Power needs Energy.

Having a nice warm meal filling his stomach has always been his selfish craving, so after leaving his friends he fell into a bit of a bulimia.

It wasn't very clear, but it was like he was eating instead of them. The guilt made him eat more.

Another side of him also thought he deserved it. Yet another thought it was the continuation of his selfishness.

Jack doesn't like food all that much after that.

Which is why he reverts back to cup ramen once he rejoins his friends. He'd never had any as a King, as it was too cheap and reminded him of the past, leaving it untarnished.

As snob as he might be, he cannot stand fancy food anymore, even if he has to cook himself.

Crow

Crow always thought he was short because he wasn't eating enough, and blamed Jack for it.

In hindsight, and after taking care of children, he regrets it immensely.

which is why he indulged in him buying whole boxes of cup ramen despite being on a tight budget

Despite being very protective of his food when he was younger, he learned how to share and years later, much like Yusei, started giving his portion to the others.

He's still more practical about it than the other two, if a bit instinctual, as if he finds himself with food and no one to give it to, he'll inhale it in record time.

He's also mastered the art of scavenging and cooking food in all manners possible. Even more efficient than Martha who called him for help sometimes.

He might have a problem recognizing what food is actually good for consumption though.

Common

None of them ever ever keep leftovers willingly. What Yusei doesn't finish after being pushed ends up in Crow's stomach.

They also have weird tastebuds, as the rest of the group came to realize; they're not that receptive to sweet things, for them it just feels sticky and inconsistent, like cotton candy.

Jack never ate desserts back when he was a King.

(They wouldn't say no to a good Martha pie though.

Since the Daedalus Bridge completed she's been discovering the joys of pâtisserie and they're all getting dragged into it.)

None of them can handle spice all that well, not if it's anything else than spicy cup ramen.

All of them can (and would, if necessary) bite into a raw potato without flinching.

Fruits were also that weird sort of luxury that has them swooning at a single apple.

They'd share the apple equally, then fight over it for good measure, and then part like it hasn't been the highlight of their day.

[monochromatictoad]

Is food as a love language shared between all of the f/os, or only a few? It's made me curious what foods each f/o likes, and if they're the types to share their food with Mono?

It's between most of us, honestly. Now, a good chunk of the beings here don't actually need to eat, but will eat if Mono offers food to them!

Not to go into too much detail, but Mono grew up with many siblings, cousins, and their friends, and had some step-siblings for a short period of time, all of whom would steal their food. So food security has always been one of the biggest hurdles for Mono, and they still haven't cleared it yet. Plus with their sensory problems, food can be difficult on another level, so when they have a good they like, they binge eat it. So if Mono gets gifted or offers food, it's a clear sign of them trusting and loving you.

Most of us will offer Mono food off our plates, though that doesn't mean they'll always take it. Tomatoes, mustard, salmon, cabbage (especially sauerkraut), certain raw fruit (ex. Strawberries), and cream cheese are some of the foods they will not touch.

As far as food we all like, well, that's going to make this post way too long, so to make it as simple as possible:

Gabriel: Steak and Potatoes. He'll eat any filling, warm foods, though.

Marie: She loves stews, especially if bread is paired with it.

Drake: I'm a sweets guy, my favorite food is raspberry cupcakes!

Usiel: He loves peanut butter brownies, but just won't admit it.

Sakura: She loves Syrup-Covered Anko Dumplings, Umeboshi, and Anmitsu. So she also has a sweet tooth as well.

[chaoticaren]

Daemon Ravus X Reader HCs

(This is my first time writing HCs so cut me some slack)

He's big. Literally. The in game bestiary said nine foot four so I'm going to work with that

Basically just a giant goop covered cat

I feel like he'd purr if you pet his head idk maybe I'm just fantasizing too much I'm lonely ok

Doesn't fit in a regular bathtub or shower. You have to wash him in a car wash. Just saying

Does not take any shit

Will not take any shit

And will shut that shit down (congrats if you got the reference)

I feel like if you made him food and he didn't like it he'd do the idiot sandwich thing but he'd just stare at you and breathe heavily

Would eat a potato raw. No hesitation. But he WILL glare at you the whole time.

He's like a street dog. If you're in a verse or something with other daemons he regularly sneaks out and beats the shit out of all of them and comes home looking all smug.

Expanding on the point above, y'know the swords of iron or red giants in game? How big they are? Yeah he brought one home for you once and now it sits on the wall above his bed like a trophy

Speaking of his bed, king size with several things making it bigger. Like tables the same height at the ends to fit his legs. He is not fitting on a normal bed let me tell you

Don't take his food away from him. Even if it's not food. He will tear your arm off. Or just bite you. He likes biting.

He ate a microwave once. I feel like he'd do that just out of spite

Saw a picture of Noctis on the ground. Proceeded to bite it, tear it to shreds, run it over with your lawnmower, run it over with your car, piss on the pieces, and give the pieces to the birds living in a nearby tree. The birds thought they were worms and ate them and died

Are you struggling to open jars? Ask Ravus to help open them! He'll smash them into pieces and then look at you like you're the one who did it wrong!

If you have a pet Ravus can and will pick a fight with them and promptly lose

Likes to lay in the most inconvenient places and stare up at you like it's your fault.

Managed to lay on the ceiling once. Not clear how.

You know the scene in the first Avengers movie where the Hulk beats the shit out of Loki and slams him around and it's funny for no reason? That's Ravus right there

Alright alright let's get into the actual X Reader stuff right here

Oh

God

Let me tell you something

He likes to hold you and it's amazing because he's so big

It's weird because he's breathing like Darth Vader with autotune in your ear but he's so WARM

Cold? Cuddle with Ravus

Angry? You can hit Ravus all you want and let me tell you something he has 250,000 HP in game you are not hurting him at all he doesn't care

Intruder in the house? Cue Ravus falling down the stairs to go and kill them and their whole bloodline

He's like a dog honestly

He will randomly pick you up and carry you around everywhere whether you want it or not

Got stuck in a washing machine once. Will growl if you bring it up.

He likes to cut food with his sword. He gives you a funny look if you throw it out. But it's not safe to eat because it's covered in whatever kind of goop Ravus is covered in sooooo

NSFW time

Good luck taking him in bed. That dick is as big as you are.

Okay, not that big. It's like...

...

...

...

... 11 inches? We'll say 11 for now because a foot long is just a bit much but I feel like 10 doesn't give him justice

Prefers doggy or missionary or mating press. Something along those lines

Must be on top or he'll crumble into ashes

Prepare for extremely rough sex, because that's all he does

Are you a masochist? No? You are now

Claws you up, but only a little. He doesn't want to hurt you but damn those claws are a bit much

Speaking of his claws he lets you put nail polish on them but only sometimes

BUT THATS NOT THE POINT

When it's all done, you'll find claw marks everywhere. The ceiling, the floor, rooms you weren't even in all day, the neighbors house....

Places that don't make sense. It's not clear how they got there.

For aftercare let me tell you something

Great back scratcher

Will cuddle up to you

But if you both need to be cleaned you're both sitting in front of the sprinkler. Deal with it

That took twenty minutes to write but that was so fun. Holy shit. Ten notes and I'll do this for other characters (Current ideas are daemon Loqi, modern Ravus, daemon Luna, daemon Luna and Ravus, ect ect blah blah blah give me ideas and I'll feed you)

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

Day three of headcannons

Wukong

1. Enjoys anytime tangerine flavored as it's similar to peach in taste

2. Loves to dress up for mk and such

3. Enjoys when kids paint him

4. Has kidnapped children in the past just to hang out with them and it used to happen so often that the parents knew wukong by name and would leave gifts for him

5. Hates potatoes, because he ate a raw one once

6. Enjoys ramen but had been known to eat it with his claws

7. Uses his claws as forks

- he generally likes everything- well, anything sweet like peaches! But tangerine? Maybe his second favorite. After the peaches.

- he loves taking care of himself honestly- he loves making himself pretty! But as a mentor he always wants to look good for mk.

- he loves painting, he loves it when kids paint his face.

- as a monkey, sometimes he kidnapped some kids because he thought they were from his troop, but just ended up playing with 'em. Now parents thinks a monkey likes to play with their kids, and this went on for generation over generation. The same family, as now tradition, leaves food for the friendly monkey.

- if you give him something with potatoes in it, he'll love them though.

- why use such- human costumes if you can just eat with your bare hands?!

- same reason as before.